Although I was thrilled to be moving to Rickmansworth, and still am – it’s such a beautiful place! And this house has such a calming peace about it! In my heart, I had always imagined that I would be among the busyness of central London, meeting lots of diverse people and discovering new things in the city. I had imagined going to Hillsong London, and getting involved with the CU for example. I admitted I was slightly confused why I had ended up in such a white, affluent, natural-looking area on the outskirts of London.
And then I got an email. It was from a job I had applied for way way back when I applied to study at UCL. They had offered me an interview. Not only was it based in central London, but it was based in Canary Wharf! I was so excited and beaming from ear to ear as I ran to tell my mum. ‘Guess what’ I said, ‘Guess what, guess what, guess what’. Naturally, she had no idea. ‘I have an interview with UCL School of Management, and it’s in Canary Wharf, 18 hours a week, and I’d be paid the equivalent of a £24-27,000 salary! Needless to say she was (nearly) as excited as I was. Not only would the hours provide a great structure, and enable me to meet all my lectures and have weekends free (I’m studying part time), but the salary would also enable me to move closer to Central London.
Today was the day of my interview. As I was thinking about it and preparing for this day yesterday, I began to wonder if I should want to leave Rickmansworth. I know that I feel safe here, I am happy here, the lakes are beautiful and it’s very easy-going. But as these thoughts came to me, I felt in my spirit a reminder to resist the urge to settle. The story of Moses leading the slaves from Egypt into their promised land came to mind. On the way many of the people dropped off to set up home at places along the way, ultimately missing out on the place God had promised them. As I thought more on this, I remembered a sermon which I watched recently online (I had come across it when looking for churches in the area).
This pastor told of how when he, his wife, and family went through a tough season and were forced to move to a small council property, they never unpacked. They lived out of their suitcases because they were convinced that this situation was only going to be temporary. And you know what – it was – he and his wife both ended up getting better jobs and moved into a lovely spacious house in a good area. Again this challenged me to exercise my faith, and to know that I wasn’t being ungrateful if I felt a desire to move on again (I reminded myself that regardless of whether I had remembered about this job or not, I would have needed somewhere to stay prior to it while I started my studies).
I realised from my own experiences that just because you are comfortable, or feel happy in a place, it doesn’t mean it’s right to stay. Personally, I feel that I stayed in Loughborough for too long, partially because I was so happy there as a student and didn’t want to face that period of my life ending. But even despite my resistance, it did end – and probably not in the best way. I could have saved a lot of time by dealing with that inevitability sooner. Even recently, when I was working for Cocoa Desserts, I often thought about just staying and working there full-time. I loved the team and genuinely was sad to have to say goodbye to that wonderful place where I had a lot of fun and made good memories. The realisation came to me that if you get too comfortable in one place, it can stop you from fulfilling your destiny.
As I went to bed that night, I petitioned to God one last time to make things clearer for me. I felt this in my heart as I said ‘Lord yes it would be comfortable here, but I have to follow my dreams!’ Just as this thought entered my head I opened my journal and a piece of paper fell out. It was the piece of paper I had written down all the prophecies I had received while working at Fusion during last summer. My eyes straight away fell upon the words ‘Big dreams – God is saying you can do it’. What a beautiful moment! And so as I wait for the results of the interview, whether successful or not, I am confident that God sees my dreams and is all for me. He lights the stars in our eyes and paces the way for us to reach them.
In conclusion – to take us up to this present moment, I would like also to mention a prophetic word that I received about this year when I went for a SOZO appointment (Kind of a Christian counselling/ guidance/ prayer session). One lady there said that God was telling me to have ‘shoes of readiness’. At the time I thought ‘great, that’s helpful, I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life’. But now I think I understand. I may not know the next step, but I know that where God leads He will provide, and to always be ready for whatever curve ball he brings me next!
UPDATE: I got the job!! Praise God!!